Free Personality Test, Because Therapy Is Expensive

So… one of this blog’s main prerequisites is turning personal chaos into content. Digging deep into the mess that is my brain, fishing out some weird thoughts, and shaping them into something (hopefully) entertaining. Part therapy, part stand-up. And here I am again, somewhere between overthinking life and deciding what to eat next, when suddenly I realized something... I’ve changed!!!

But sure, change is inevitable, like getting a new haircut, removing a regrettable tattoo, or casually trying on a whole new personality for size… but this feels… bigger…. less "new chapter", more "accidental personality update" triggered by too much small talk. My ability to handle people, or just casually interact in any capacity (words, presence, shared oxygen) has quietly… declined. And while part of me mourns the social butterfly I used to be, the one who never missed a gathering and lived for social madness, another part of me is oddly at peace. But also confused. Like… where do I fit in now?

If all this sounds familiar… well then, virtual high five to you, my friend! You might find yourself asking a bunch of questions, trying to make sense of it all. When did this shift happen? Has it been months? Years? Was there a moment, a trigger? Was I always like this? Does it even matter? Maybe you’ve started replaying every interaction you’ve had lately, scanning for signs, patterns, emotional side effects. The one dinner that left you socially hungover. The small talk that made you question your will to communicate ever again. And suddenly, your new favorite plans are the ones that get cancelled. Preferably last-minute. By someone else..

Or maybe… just maybe… you’re one of those people who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. If this all sounds like dramatic nonsense to you, then good for you, you’re probably out there navigating the social landscape and thriving. Social cues? You don’t read them, you orchestrate them. Small talk? Pffff, you own it, and always with the right amount of eye contact. You’re the person who walks into a room and somehow leaves with three new best friends, a dog, and a wedding invite. In other words, you might be a total extrovert. Or just suspiciously well-adjusted. Either way, we need answers.

So, in the spirit of curiosity (and maybe social confusion), I made a little something! A completely unscientific and barely accurate quiz to help you figure out where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Somewhere between "faking your own death to avoid human contact" and "organizing a surprise birthday bash for the cousin of someone you just met in an elevator"… there’s you.

Answer honestly, or dramatically… Let’s begin shall we?

You wake up as a household appliance. What are you?

A) Noise cancelling headphones, for obvious reasons.

B) A fridge, always stocked, people visit but don’t linger.

C) A ring light, because honestly, you were built to be well-lit and admired.

D) A karaoke machine, chaotic energy, zero regrets.

A pigeon locks eyes with you. What do you do?

A) Break eye contact. Not today, sky demon.

B) Wonder what deep message the universe is trying to send.

C) Nod respectfully. You’re both just existing.

D) Name it Kevin. Raise it. Form a band. 

You open your fridge and your leftovers start talking. What's your first thought?

A) Et tu, Brute? Can’t get a moment of silence in this house.

B) Depends… are they being supportive or just passive aggressive?

C) Coo cooo coooool! This is going viral, your fridge has content now!

D) Finally, someone to talk to while you eat. These are your peeps.

What’s your role in a group chat?

A) Left the group two months ago and no one noticed.

B) Silent observer. Rare commenter. A presence. A mystery. Possibly a bot.

C) Sends only voice notes because typing feels emotionally unsafe.

D) Shares memes, plans hangouts, starts polls. MASTER & COMMANDER.

A raccoon invites you to an underground party in the forest. What's your move?

A) Decline politely and block the number.

B) Show up, say nothing, just observe. It’s a talking raccoon, you’re intrigued!

C) Bring wine, and invite two friends. MAKE. A. GOOD. IMPRESSION.

D) Stage a peaceful coup, befriend the elders, and appoint yourself Head of Raccoon Affairs.

You gain the ability to pause time, but only during small talk. What do you use it for?

A) Leave the room, change your name, move cities. Return in disguise.

B) Practice facial expressions in the mirror to appear interested.

C) Take a full nap, emotionally recover, then unpause like nothing happened.

D) Install a projector and walk them through a presentation titled "Why I’m About to Leave".

You've been assigned a social energy animal. Which one speaks to you?

A) A house cat that hides under the bed when the doorbell rings.

B) A tortoise that just vibes quietly with everyone.

C) A golden retriever with a calendar full of brunches and hugs.

D) A parrot who overshares and occasionally starts drama.

Congrats! You've journeyed through the absurd. You've revealed your social soul. Ready for the results?

If you answered mostly A’s: You're The Lo-Fi Protagonist

Mood: Ghost in the group chat, philosopher in the kitchen.

You’re the emotional minimalist. Socializing isn’t your enemy, it’s just best enjoyed through walls, windows, or an entirely different timezone. You cherish your energy like it’s a rare artifact. You're self-aware and more present than you seem… just in ways people will never quite understand. 

Catchphrase: I’m around. Ish.

If you answered mostly B’s:

You're The Indie Film Energy

Mood: Cryptic, kind, and always scanning the room like radar.

You’re not shy you’re just selective with your data intake. You like to observe before you process. People often describe you as quiet but deep, and you’re totally fine with that. You're not here to perform, you're here to understand the world, one raccoon dinner party at a time.

Catchphrase: I’ll be there… maybe.

If you answered mostly C’s: You're The Side Character That Stole the Show

Mood: Emotionally caffeinated, politely popular.

You’re sociable but grounded. The one who drops the perfect meme, shows up with snacks, and can plan a mid-sized gathering in their sleep. People feel safe around you… mostly because you give off "we’re gonna have fun, not feelings" energy.

Catchphrase: Drinks at mine?

If you answered mostly D’s:

You're The Plot Twist

Mood: Expressive by nature, extra by choice.

You’re a social hurricane in glitter sneakers. You don’t attend events, you transform them. Life of the party! You’re expressive, imaginative, and probably banned from three WhatsApp groups for oversharing followed by 3-minute voice notes.

Catchphrase: So I had this idea…

What started as a silly little idea somehow spiraled into this! A bit of chaos, a bit of curiosity, and maybe even some accidental self-discovery. Whether you’re a social tornado or just really good at disappearing, here’s to pretending we figured ourselves out… or at least got a laugh (I sure hope you did). Thanks for tuning in! Over and out!